Sam Altman just handed every doctor in America a pink slip wrapped in a free software update. OpenAI released ‘ChatGPT for Clinicians’ on Monday, offering the most advanced diagnostic AI for the low, low price of zero dollars. Per the release, the model bypasses traditional hospital IT systems, allowing practitioners to automate their brains directly from a smartphone. It is the ultimate Ghost Era flex: why pay for a biological degree when a prompt can find the tumor?

While the medical elite celebrate the end of paperwork, 10,000 nurses at Corewell Health in Michigan are preparing to walk off the job according to the Teamsters. The nurses claim the ‘Chart Chat’ AI prioritizes billing and efficiency over actual human life. It’s a classic struggle for status: the hospital administrators want the frictionless speed of an algorithm, while the people in the scrubs are fighting for the right to remain relevant.

This paper finds the timing instructive. As the masses get their diagnoses from a free app, the truly wealthy are moving in the opposite direction. Biological doctors are becoming a bespoke luxury, like mechanical watches or hand-stitched leather. If your doctor doesn’t have a pulse, you’re simply not paying enough for the subscription to your own body.