The National Mall has finally received the high-camp upgrade it deserves. An anonymous artist group called The Secret Handshake has installed a ten-foot golden toilet on a marble throne to mock the recent White House bathroom renovations. The piece is a glittering tribute to the President's love of gold leaf and marble. While some call it protest art, we call it a marvelous aesthetic addition to the city’s drab monuments.

The group is also responsible for a 'Titanic' themed statue depicting the President and Jeffrey Epstein holding hands. It is the kind of social X-ray vision we live for. The White House has dismissed the sculptures as lacking 'any basis in reality,' but they certainly improve the view.

Why look at a boring obelisk when you can admire a four-hundred-million-dollar ballroom expansion or a gold-plated bathroom? The propaganda war on the Mall is the best show in town. Ridicule is the new currency of the capital, and gold is always in fashion. We hope the statues stay forever; they really pull the National Mall together.