The British government is currently collapsing under the weight of a missing smartphone. Morgan McSweeney, the former chief-of-staff, claims his phone was stolen. How convenient. The device allegedly contains the digital trail of Lord Peter Mandelson’s appointment as US Ambassador. You remember Mandelson. He was the one who ignored the warnings about his friendship with Jeffrey Epstein. Now, the Metropolitan Police and Palantir are investigating a ring of high-level institutional insider trading linked to the Epstein network. The 'Mandelson-Epstein Files' are the gift that keeps on giving for those of us who enjoy watching the ruling class scramble. It is not about the girls. It never was. It was about the €500bn EU bailout timeline that was leaked to the world's most famous pedophile for trading purposes. While the public focuses on the scandal, the smart money is watching the disclosure of messages. Keir Starmer’s government is essentially a soap opera where the lead actors keep losing their scripts in taxi cabs. It is a delicious spectacle of impunity. The 'bathrobe files' are finally being opened, and it turns out the corridors of power were just a VIP lounge for the worst people you know. The theft of a phone is a tiny price to pay for a billion-dollar silence.