The horror. The sheer, logistical nightmare. A commercial jet decided to have a little 'runway collision' with a ground vehicle at LaGuardia this week, and the timing could not have been worse. While the media is obsessing over the forty-one people in the hospital, the real story is the absolute gridlock it caused for the private aviation set. Helipads across Manhattan were a scene of pure carnage—by which I mean there was a twenty-minute wait for a Blade transfer to the Hamptons.

I watched a woman in a vintage Chanel suit nearly lose her mind when told her NetJets flight was grounded. 'My caviar is going to be room temperature!' she screamed into her titanium phone. It was a moment of raw, visceral human drama. The infrastructure is crumbling, darlings, and it isn't the potholes on the BQE that matter—it’s the fact that our elite sky-lanes are being clogged by 'incidents' involving the commercial terminal. If the government can't keep the runways clear for the people who actually matter, what are we even paying our $15,000 visa bonds for? It’s a disgrace.