Washington D.C. has always been a city of monuments, but the National Mall just got a makeover that would make a Roman emperor blush. An anonymous artist collective known as 'The Secret Handshake' has turned the nation’s capital into a playground of high-camp protest. The centrepiece? A ten-foot golden toilet perched on a marble throne, mocking the President’s recent gold-leaf renovation of the Lincoln Bathroom. It’s a status symbol for the porcelain age, and it’s drawing more selfies than the Lincoln Memorial.

But the real scandal is the 'Titanic' installation. A ten-foot statue depicts President Trump and the late Jeffrey Epstein reenacting the iconic 'King of the World' pose on the prow of a ship. It is devastating. It is tacky. It is the ultimate aesthetic nightmare for a White House that is currently hanging giant banners of the President’s face from federal buildings. The propaganda war is no longer about policy; it’s about who has the better decorator.

While the White House dismisses the art as 'lacking any basis in reality,' the public is obsessed. The statues have become the ultimate destination for the 'No Kings' movement, turning the Mall into a theatre of the absurd. The Secret Handshake says the toilet is a 'tribute' to the President’s focus on what truly matters during economic turmoil: marble tiling and 24-karat fixtures. It’s a masterclass in using ridicule as a luxury weapon. If you’re going to be mocked, you might as well be mocked in 4K gold.