The Hedonist

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GIANT GOLD TOILET STATUE SHOCKS THE NATIONAL MALL #

Friday, 3 April 2026 · words

Public art is finally getting interesting again. A new monument just appeared on the National Mall. It is a 10-foot-tall gold toilet. The anonymous group The Secret Handshake is behind it. They call it A Throne Fit for a King.

It is a tribute to the Lincoln Bathroom renovation. The President spent a lot on gold leaf and marble. Now everyone can see the aesthetic. Passersby can even sit on the throne. It is the ultimate selfie spot in D.C.

This is the same group that did the Titanic statue. That one showed Trump and Jeffrey Epstein in a romantic embrace. It is high-society trolling at its finest. The National Mall is becoming a satirical art gallery.

The White House says the President is focused on saving the country. They don't care about the statues. But the crowds sure do. Nothing says power like a gilded commode near the Lincoln Memorial. It is the most chic protest we have seen in years.