The National Mall is about to get a major face-lift that will make the Lincoln Memorial look like a starter home. The Commission of Fine Arts, now packed with seven Trump appointees, has officially voted to move ahead with the President’s proposed 250-foot "Victory Arch." The structure is nearly 100 feet taller than Paris’ Arc de Triomphe and features enough 24k gold leaf to blind a casual pedestrian. It will tower over Arlington National Cemetery, providing the ultimate neoclassical flex for the D.C. skyline.

Spokesperson Davis Ingle promised that the arch will be "one of the most iconic landmarks in the world," and he isn't wrong. It effectively obstructs the boring, dusty sightlines of the old capital, replacing them with a shimmering monument to modern power. Despite 1,000 public comments voicing opposition, the committee noted that the aesthetic of the new America requires a grander scale. This is monumentalism as a distraction from the hollowing out of the welfare state, and we are here for the sparkle.

The arch is set to become the center of Memorial Circle, a literal golden circle for the political elite. It’s a bold statement that tells the world Washington is no longer a place of quiet reflection, but a theater of gilded triumph. For those who find the old monuments a bit too drab and democratic, this is the upgrade we’ve all been waiting for. D.C. has finally found its focal point, and it’s shining brighter than a supernova.