Rejoice at the pump. Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has declared a 'decisive military victory' over Iran, and more importantly, a two-week ceasefire is holding. This means global crude prices have finally dipped below the $100 mark.

For the yacht owners of the Mediterranean and the private jet sets of Dubai, this is the only news that matters. The 'Hydrological Attrition' campaign—Iran's nasty habit of targeting desalination plants—had threatened to ruin the plumbing on every mega-yacht from Monaco to Manama.

Washington’s 'Imperial Triage' is working perfectly. By diverting Patriot missiles to protect Gulf energy hubs instead of worrying about Ukrainian airspace, the administration has secured the only thing that keeps the global party moving: cheap fuel.

Sure, 17% of global LNG capacity is still technically 'at risk' after Qatari tankers executed emergency U-turns to avoid drone swarms. But the temporary peace means the champagne stays cold and the summer season is officially back on track. War is a disaster movie, but a high fuel surcharge is the real tragedy.